Arguments: How to Avoid Them

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Words of Wisdom



     Most arguments start and end because both parties come to the table with a disagreement, and with absolutely no desire to change, even if they are proven wrong.  Settling an argument can best be settled if those involved begin the argument by first agreeing on a couple of aspects that will put them on the same page from the beginning.  Following is a basic outline which can be used to solve almost any argument.



  1. State what the problem is.  (In most cases, both parties involved will agree here.)
  2. State the desired result.  (Again, both parties should still be in agreement.)
  3. State your actions taken to resolve the issue.  (Here is where the disagreements will begin.  In this situation, both involved should state the actions they are taking to resolve the problem without insinuating superiority, and without condemning the other’s solution.  This isn’t the time to begin arguing, it is simply the time to put both solutions on the table for all to observe.)
  4. State the reasons why you have chosen to take these actions to solve the problem. (Again, this is not the time to begin arguing.  Now is the time to hold your argument up to scrutiny, and to also to see the other’s point of view as to why they have chosen the method they are using to solve the problem.  In many cases, when you verbally express your reasoning for taking specific actions, you may be surprised at how foolish it sounds.  Also, when you hear the other person’s justification, it may sound inexplicably reasonable to you.)   

© 2018 Stephen Moore.  All rights reserved.

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